Thursday, July 24, 2008

Why an MBA, goddamit WHY NOW????

Always asked and probably the most common Q for an MBA, and along with that something that people/blogs/adm-consultants/your-next-door-neighbor-and-his-maternal-uncle-from timbuktoo spend the most bytes (sonic and binary) discussing about.

And thereby, progressively, adding more and more rationale/theories into the already 1 billion (could be 1 trillion) strong "why mba, and even the more foreboding why now" case-book.

Apparently plentiful of soul searching is required in order to answer this question, which creates a major hurdle for people like me. People who either lack a soul or do not have the means to search for it.

So this post is meant for us, that particular group of "me, myself and us- who would rather leave the soul-searching business to the afterlife".

So without further adiue, here are the much anticipated answers:
Insert drumrolls, fireworks and make for a dramatic entrance

Part 1--> Question:Why an MBA?
You are not bill gates neither are you steve jobs, meaning you can never on your own, in your backyard garage, come up with a product design/idea(s) that would change the face of the world and in the process make you a shitload of money (which you can then dump off to charitable foundations, to the utter and complete disgust of your children). Hell you arent even Steve Cohen, you are sure you dont have the skills, confidence, know-how to learn managing and making tons of profit on big money. But you know that you like big-money and even bigger and fatter paychecks. And thus, lacking the brain-power/intellect that most successful greats (as a simple statistical enquiry try and look up the % of MBA who have actually made a path breaking product/company) have, you realize that there is just one way you can atleast get a chance to pretend to be a great-one. It is by increasing your bullshit quotient and having an official tag for that aka MBA FROM AN ELITE SCHOOL.

I kid you not, when I tell you, that this is your one and only meal-ticket to be a Bill Gates/Warren Buffet impersonator of the future.
And anyone who tells you otherwise, in the form of sentences that go "I want to see myself in an advisory/consultant role for bigger and bigger companies and thereby change the way the corporate world operates" or "OMG it turns me so damn on when I dream about helping clients seal M&A deals", are plain and simple lying. The MBA is their one-and-only ticket to green-villa.

So stop searching for your soul, realize you like the color green, cut the bull and start spinning your tales, and dont forget that you are mother teresa (community service), isaac newton (acads, not einstein, einstein you see didnt have a college degree, thereby debarring him from the mba admission process) and jack welsh (industry leadership) rolled into one. I know I am.



Anonymous said...

you sir/madam are hilarious. keep the nice posts coming.

HappyBunny said...

I love reading your blog!!!! :)

yeti said...

This could be one of the best non-mba post in an Mba blog ever. Great writing.

theincarnated said...

Awesome post........ Now that your soul search is complete, and your fundas are strong, you can join the world (of materialistic MBAs) GO GREEN $$$ :)

The Teacher said...

OMG you are bold. OMG you are honest..

Godspeed ;)

OMGparishilton said...

@ anon,happybunny,yeti: ty ty ty

@theincarnated: you seemed to hv missed the point, i am inept at the soul-searching business, but greens i like ;-)

@teacher: OMG ty